September 2005

9/15/05: Alyssa's dorm at NYU

• Alyssa's roommate Lauren: Beyond no.  It couldn’t make less of a difference if it tried.
   
• Lauren: My ass is too big for the paper towels.
  Alyssa: Your ass is too big for a lot of things.
  Lauren: My ass doesn’t love you anymore, and it doesn’t matter if the rest of me does because most of me is my ass!

9/23/05: Somewhere with soup? I guess?

• Brad: I’m allergic to Lauren.
  Disuhan: That’s because I roll in cat hair and bathe in fresh fruit.
   
• Andrew: How were you able to stick it in your mouth?
  Disuhan: It’s not so bad.  I’ve been mixing and blowing.
   
• Disuhan: Oh, Andrew, it’s so smooth and—what are you writing?
  

9/24/05: Somewhere else

• Sara: It’s like a non-stop, edge-of-your-seat adventure.  I should write a book: “My Life in Andrew’s Bed."
  

August 2005

8/4/05 - 8/5/05: Phi Sigma Pi Grand Chapter Conference in Monroeville, PA

• Sara: Remember the time we were … driving?  I don’t either. (Stuck in traffic)
   
• Sara: We should get cash prizes for this.
  
  
• Andrew: Queerie?
  Sara: Point of sexual orientation!
  (Fun with Robert's Rules)
   
• Girl: Ya know what I’m saying?
  Tammy: I can’t answer you, so I’m just going to keep staring at you.
  Girl: Okay, I wasn’t really asking you.
  (Confusion between delegate and chair)
  
  
• Sara: It was a very caj wedding. We didn’t even have a rabbi.
  Andrew: Or a yarmulke.
  Sara: Or a heterosexual groom.
  (We staged a false Jewish wedding as part of our duties in the Peanut Gallery)
  

8/27/05: Somewhere for Ben's Birthday

• Kathleen: Five-year-olds have been born five times since you were born!
  

8/31/05: Somewhere

• Jennelle: He just wanted to go to the conference so he can save his race by mating with some tree nymph.
  Nick: Fairy princess!
   
• Andrew: I’m through with hugging big, drunk men.
  Disuhan: I’m not.
   
• Kathleen: What is this love thing?  I don’t know.
  
  
• Kathleen: We’re like the worst hurricanes ever.
   
• Andrew: I’m gonna go out for a smoke.
  

July 2005

7/3/05: An evening at Mary's

• Lucas: Why would I cheat?
  Mary: I’m drunk and stupid.  Why wouldn’t you?
  
  
• Mary: Everybody but me doesn’t suck at this game!
  
  
• Doug M: You’re gonna get sick.
  Mary: Don’t say sick.

Somewhere else

• Kathleen: If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll get psoriasis!

7/4/05: Rockland County with the Franzeses/Ethes

• Doug E: Doesn’t Corona taste like pee?
  All: I’ve never tasted pee

7/16/05: Various

• Laura: You’ve tuned in to ‘Keep Him or Dump Him’, with Jeanne.
   
• Alex: There’s one Ben, and half of another Ben in my world.
   
• Andrew: Um, what did people do at bar mitzvahs before 1981? (about “Celebrate”)
   
• Shihan M: If anyone has any objection to listening to the Yankees, please let me know.
   
• Andrew: Dan is the reason we get pie.
  Sara: That’s why I keep him around.
   
• Andrew: I wouldn’t describe Sarah McLachlan as a “crooner.”
  Alex and Sara: Or a tree fucker!

7/23/05: Don't remember where

• Sara: If you like Kathleen, try her mom.
   
• Dan: If they jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge…
  Andrew: Bridge no, ass grab yes.
   
• Sara: It’s still a bachelorette party because you’re a bachelorette now!
  Ben: But there’ll be guys there.
  Disuhan: And we can hook up with them!
  Ben: No, I meant us.

7/24/05: ESPN Zone, possibly?

• Michelle: I was the Michael Jordan of Phi Sig.

Continuing the Quoting Tradition

When Yahoo announced that it was closing Geocities, I was only mildly concerned about the seven years-worth of quotes I had stored on a page there (not to mention survey questions and answers, ambigrams, etc).  I seem to remember Yahoo saying they'd be sending information about file transfer options, but when that information never came and then Geocities closed, swallowing my Quotebook page into the abyss, I was only a little disappointed.

Then, one day, Disuhan Googled her name and found quotes of hers posted on a site with the domain Reocities.com.  They had resurrected my Quotebook!  I clicked through to a few of the pages and laughed myself silly, pleased that these quotes had stood the test of time and were still funny (to me anyway).  I was inspired to dig out the physical Quotebook (the actual book in which I record the quotes, because then, as now, I do not own a mobile device that easily allows me to quote on the go), which is the third of its kind, and discovered that there are about two more years of quotes that never made it to the Internet.  I felt sad for them, and was motivated to give them their due.  Also, it made me want to quote again.

So I decided to start this new blog for the Quotebook.  Reocities resurrection of old Geocities pages is read-only, so I can't just go in and update it.  I could download the HTML and find a new site to host it, but HTML and web browsers have changed so many times since it fell to the wayside (and it wasn't pretty to begin with) that the design, for one thing, is not really worth holding on to.  So the old quotes will stay there, for the time being, and the new quotes will go here.  It's not an ideal platform, but it doesn't have to be permanent (as I'm sure my new-found interest in quoting won't be).

So stay tuned for the next couple of days as I begin to post our long-lost quotes of the past four and a half years, and new ones, too!  Note: last names will not be used to protect privacy.