Sunday, September 12, 2010

9/12/10 - NYMAAC Fall Picnic in Central Park

Kate: It's gays learning from gays!
(Gay strangers showed Jon how to fold up his picnic blanket)

8/28/10 - Holly's Beach House

Holly: I'm so cold.
Lindsay: Then put some pants on.
Holly: I am wearing pants!
Lindsay: Then you're just a failure as a squaw, aren't you?  Someone should start a fire.  Maybe one of the squaws.

Holly: I'd like to say I never doubted the chart, but there was a moment when I looked at it and said, "Fuck."

Matt D: Your wallet is pretty big for having nothing in it.
(on Andrew Deluxe's purported brokeness)

8/1/10 - The Liberty Science Center

Jeremy: Let's go play with something!  Something that moves!
(anxious to get to the biology exhibits)

Jeremy: I'm different but you're the same.
(he took a separate staircase from the rest of us)

7/5/10 - Games at Puddhaven or Kittyboo (don't remember)

Sara: Vincent, are there any of your things you don't want brought to the new house?
Vincent: Bubsy.

Sara: Christmas is for stupid things.
(differentiating from birthdays which are for thoughtful gifts)

Andrew: We've been gnomeless for some time.
Sara: Did you go to a gnomeless shelter?

Sara: Lindsay's gayer than you are, based on her participation in the band.

Andrew: Pigs are pigs, Dan.

Andrew: Are you going to baptize the thing?

(Sara/Dan/Lindsay, if you remember the context for any of these quotes, please comment!)

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

6/29/10 - In the car

John David: The Jewish delusion that Christ was gently crocheted to the cross.
(after I used the word "sewn" to describe how Jesus was crucified)

John David: Enjoy your trunk prize!
(to Lindsay, whose birthday present was in the trunk)

6/3/10 - LGBAC Marching Band Rehearsal

Marita: You drew a crowd ... and almost caused an accident!
(on the motorists on 9A who stopped to listen to us)

Monday, May 24, 2010

Sunday, May 23, 2010

4/30/10 - Chevy's with Acxiom and ex-Acxiom folks

Andrew: There's a situation in Queens.
Tara: Is there a Snooki?

Saturday, May 1, 2010

4/29/20 - LGBAC Marching Band Post-Rehearsal Eating

Marita: I love you.
Ana: Why? What happened?

Lindsay: That night, grandmother and grandson became lovers.
Louisa: Can you please stop saying that?
(regarding this article)

Andrew:  Once you go percussion, you never go back.  It's like other things.

Friday, April 30, 2010

4/25/10 - Chili's, East Northport, NY

Disuhan: My smart phone has become invaluable to me.
Kathleen: As you discovered when you dropped it in a puddle.
(relevant FB post)

Kathleen: I dropped your phone, but at least I didn't drop it in a puddle.

4/24/10 - LGBAC Symphonic Band Spring Concert

Brian: Did anyone catch the Met broadcast this afternoon?
Hilary: We won!
(What happens when you try to talk about opera amongst baseball fans)

4/23/10 - Macaroni Grill in Timonium, MD

Courtney: I alien you!  I alien this restaurant!
(I wrote "I <3 you" on the butcher paper table covering and the "<3" turned into an alien.  Also, we <3 Macaroni Grill)

Sunday, April 18, 2010

4/18/10 - Sunday Games at Puddhaven with the Redheads

Sara: I can't keep track of your fictional businesses, Lindsay.

Sara:  See what happens when you "Soo-ee?"
Andrew: You make an ass out of you!

Andrew: It's really easy to make bacon with four pigs. 
(Truism #304)

Dan: I just want pictures of four pigs doing the same thing.
(Dan explains his selective photography of our game of Pass the Pigs)

Andrew: Nope, there's spirit there.
(I assure everyone that my pigs are not, in fact, makin' bacon)

Monday, April 12, 2010

4/12/2010 - LGBAC Symphonic Band Rehearsal

Brian: I'm happy, but I'm not content.

Brian: I'm sure you've all experienced ecstasy ... and I don't mean the drug.
Band: [mumbled confusion]

Saturday, April 10, 2010

4/8/10 - LGBAC Marching Band Rehearsal

Marita: Would it help if you moved over there?
Leslie: Only if my eyesight is better over there.

Later, at the Good Stuff Diner...

Marita: The butter whores took all the butter from our basket.
Eric P: I'm a butter whore.  Eat all the butter in my basket.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

4/6/10 - Dinner at the Burger Joint

Andrew: Party in the somewhere else.
Lindsay: Party in the place I can't see you.
(How we feel about Miley)

Sunday, April 4, 2010

4/3/10 - Page & Popcorn: Alice in Wonderland

Pat: Cupcakes are one of those things that say "Eat me" without anything being written on them.

Juli: I'm the mayor of my hair salon!
(Foursquare is hilarious)

Thursday, March 18, 2010

3/18/10 - LGBAC Marching Band Percussion Sectional

Leslie: I think your singing has improved.
Marita: I think your level of desperation has increased.

Monday, March 8, 2010

3/8/10 - LGBAC Symphonic Band rehearsal

Brian: Brian, shit-for-brains, whatever you want to call me.  I don't care.
Leslie: I'd like to call you Gladys.

Nolan: How can you fail if you never try?

3/7/10 - Columbia Festival of Winds

Nolan: Every band's got a ho.
(regarding a gardening tool amongst the percussion equipment)

Saturday, March 6, 2010

3/5/10 - A lenten evening at the Olive Garden in Centereach, NY

Andrew: Can you fix my helicopter?

Kathleen: I'll just get the chicken and gnocchi soup ... and go to Hell.

3/2/10 - Marching Band Percussion Sectional

Leslie: I'll have the roll flam and you'll have the gock ... and I'll be in Scotland before ye!

Sunday, February 28, 2010

2/28/10 - Sunday games at Puddhaven with the Redheads

Dan: This is when sea creatures do it, and then we eat it.
Sara: Caviar!
(Taboo, and correct)

Dan: I heard you discussing the state of my scroditude.
(Dan took a bathroom break during a game of Yahtzee)

Andrew: It's anybody's game ... except yours.
(See above)

Dan: What is Celine Dion doing in that pile of coins?  The backstroke.
(On why Celine Dion may have turned down performing at the Olympic ceremonies)

Saturday, February 27, 2010

2/22/10 - The LGBAC Marching Band Recording Session

Marita: There's a lot of tension in this song ("Gimme Some Lovin'").
Ryan:  That's not tension, it'a anxiety.  We need some lovin'.

Marita: Let's see what we can do with Madonna ("Holiday").
Sam G: Not much, these days.

Marita:  Piccolos, please play a little softer.
Leslie: Softer?  Piccolos are either on or off.

Gerry: It was great to play without swatting flies or staring into the sun.

Gerry: Excellent, I am dating a 23-year-old hottie named Jesus.
(After being asked to channel Madonna while playing "Holiday")

Sunday, February 21, 2010

New feature: Label list

Check out the left sidebar and scroll down to the "labels" widget.  This shows a list of everyone who was ever tagged in a post, organized by how many posts).  It's an easy way to find all of the posts you're quoted or mentioned in, and it saves me the trouble of keeping a running tally like I used to.  Note: it's not a count of how many times you've been quoted, just a count of how many posts in which you are quoted.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

2/20/10 - Jess's mother is trying to kill her

Jess: I can just picture Lindsay out in a rainstorm holding an antenna.
Andrew: And a kite with a key.
Jess: Holding the word "show."
(This was about Lindsay trying to get the Sundance channel so she can watch the Johnny Weir reality show.  It also references the video I'm making with pictures of people holding words in a song.)

Jess: I'm glad I got to see you all before my demise.
Lindsay: I want to take a picture standing over Jess's corpse, holding a persimmon in one hand and the word "show" in the other.
(Jess is allergic to persimmons, and see the title of this post.)

New possible title for Lindsay's memoirs: "Mashed Potatoes and Outlet Shopping"

Jess: They had sausage sniffing dogs.
Andrew: Wait, sausage dogs who are sniffing, or dogs sniffing sausages?
Jess: Dogs sniffing sausages.  They save the dachshunds for heroin.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

2/17/10 - QUO rehearsal

Jack: [Schubert] couldn't fugue to save his life!
Andrew: Fortunately, one's life rarely depends on fuguing.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

All caught up!

Ah, it feels good to be caught up.  All quotes from July 2005 to the present are now posted to this blog (and all quotes from June 1998 through June 2005 are at the old Quotebook webpage).  Quotes will be grouped by day instead of month (which I've already started doing) so I will post to this blog just about as frequently as I quote. 

It gives me great pleasure to welcome the following newcomers to the Quotebook (over the past five years)!
  • Doug M
  • Brad C
  • Jeremy S
  • Maribeth B
  • Ashley Go
  • Emily J
  • Greg S
  • Krystal P
  • Nicole K
  • Pamela S
  • Juli M
  • Marita B
  • Amy N
  • Julia E
  • Courtney Y
  • Pixie
  • Darcy
  • Scott S
  • Dawn K
  • Kristin G
  • Leslie B
  • Louisa M
  • Tolly
  • Kate M
  • Brian W
  • Brenton D
  • John David
  • Steven P
Looking forward to many more quotes in 2010!

2/13/10 - Sara and Dan got new games

Andrew: If you turn them gay, you might as well eat them.
Dan: That's right. You break it you bought it.
(on conservatives' attitudes towards gays babysitting their children)

Andrew: You are first among Dans.
Sara: There are no other Dans before thee.  Thou shall not worship false Dans.

2/12/10 - Marita, Joe, and Jacki's birthdays

Leslie: I'm just gonna lesbian it off.
(on using brute force to open a tub of veggie dip)

Lindsay: What exactly is happening here?
Andrew: Canada
(watching the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics)

New possible title for Lindsay's memoirs: "An Overwhelming Sense of Me"

2/8/10 - LGBAC Symphonic Band rehearsal

Brian: If I'd seen that [no other horns were here], I'd have run right out.
Steven P: Is that a suggestion?

2/5/10 - Film Center Cafe, Hell's Kitchen

Brenton: I'm innocent.  I don't do bad things.
John David: You invented bad things.

2/1/10 - LGBAC Symphonic Band rehearsal

Brian: I might stop looking pretty in this piece.
Leslie: That's all right. We just won't look at you.

1/4/10 - Puddhaven

Andrew: Your thigh is warm.
Kate: Your weird is weird.

12/31/09 - New Years Eve at Jeanne & Jim's

Alex: This is just like the Wii version!
Andrew: It's the real version of the fake version of the real version!
(Alex plays air hockey for the first time)

11/17/07 - Friendsgiving in Hamboo

Sara: It's an undergarment, and it's magnificent.
(Tabooing "Wonderbra")

Andrew: Speaking of tools, this is where they live.
Dan: The White House

Lindsay: You're lucky I have a lot of leg fat.
Andrew: I am lucky.  I can't tell you how lucky I feel.

7/4/07 - Asbury Park Independence Day Parade

Dawn: Do I look straight?
(Regarding whether her hat was level)

Leslie: When you're playing "Vehicle," try to channel a 30-year-old black man.
Kristin: How about a 50-year-old white chick?

Tolly (to the crowd): We're just like you, only with sequins!

Dawn: I wanna go on the Tilt-a-Puke!

Marita: They have never seen such a fabulous clarinet section!
Louisa: Are you sure they're not mistaking quantity for quality?

March 2007

3/28/07: Could be anywhere

  • Andrew: Flatulence has its rewards.
  • Lindsay: He plays a wonderfully mincing director.
    Andrew: Yay, mincing!
    Mike: That's my motto.
    (About Edward Hibbert in Curtains)
3/30/07: Somewhere in New York City

  • Hannah: If you're going to mispronounce something, at least mispronounce it correctly.
  • Andrew: How do you go four years without dropping your phone in the ocean?
    Mary: How do you go four days, honestly?

February 2007 (The last of the big quoting months)

2/3/07: Started with bridesmaid dress shopping, and then Crackfiends showed up

  • Lindsay: Why did she hire two turds to walk down the aisle?
    Alex: What are those large piles of shit?
    (The bridesmaids on what the wedding guests would say about their dresses)
  • Sara: She asked for a French manicure, and that's what she got.
    Andrew: She got a Bed-Stuy manicure
    (on what happens when Alex goes to the nail salon with Karina)
  • Lindsay: Now I know what a sausage feels like.
  • Sara: We should play Celebrities now.
    Alex: I want to lick you all over.
  • Andrew: Is that to prevent fires?
    Laura: No, it's to prevent death.
  • Brad: I once had the neatest vomit.
  • Disuhan: I'm going to live with a Republican.
  • Lindsay: This apartment smacks of gay rights and free health care for all.
    (Someone must have said the apartment smells like ... the Netherlands?)
  • Disuhan: There was an old alien movie.  There was an alien in it.
  • Lindsay: I shot my wad with "bear."
  • Lindsay: Three little turds from school are we.
  • Brad: Who says "butterscotch enema?"
    Sara: I'm pretty sure that's the first time that's ever been said.
  • Brad: What movie is "Pralines 'n' Dick" from?
    Sara: Why do you keep putting these foods in those places?
2/4/07: Somewhere else

  • Brad: Berry is popular among the ladies.
    Alex: I vomit when I drink that stuff.
    Brad: I meant ladies that don't say "vomit."
2/12/07: Puddhaven

  • Andrew (to Lindsay): Are you going to hang that on your wall?
    Courtney: Not unless Kristin Chenoweth signs it.
2/13/07: Puddhaven

  • Lindsay: Kitty, go fuck yourself.
    Darcy (via Lindsay): Okay, but I'm doing it in your room.
2/14/07: Puddhaven?

  • Lindsay: Jew, when did Jesus die?
2/16/07: Puddhaven

  • Lindsay: I'm spending the night at Josh's.
    Courtney: JoshUA.
    Lindsay: I can call him Josh.
    Courtney: You can, but he won't answer.
    Lindsay: That's because he's NOT REAL.
2/17/07: Puddhaven

  • Lindsay: I can get pregnant from holding hands.
    Andrew: Yes. If Christianity has taught us anything, it's that no woman is safe from the Lord.
2/18/07-2/19/07: New Orleans, LA

  • Lindsay: I would like to cover Bayonne in powdered sugar.
  • Lindsay: Would you like to "Peace the fuck out" too?  Because that guy would.
  • Lindsay: Ugh! I'm going to fucking NOLA, zombie!  What were you thinking?
  • Andrew: I'll show you my DePippo if you show me your Latos Latos.
    (Having fun with the company name "Latos Latos and DePippo," advertised on Astoria Blvd)
  • Doug: The parade hasn't started because Harry Connick, Jr. is having sex with his go go boys.
    Andrew: Well if the parade is delayed, of course it's because of gay sex.
  • Doug: I don't want to touch titties.
    Scott: But they squeak!
  • Unattributed: No, Lindsay doesn't to cows, she's straight.
    (This could have been any of us, including Lindsay)

January 2007

1/27/07: A NYMAAC event, I'm guessing

  • Mary: Have you tried Ann Taylor?
    Juli: Actually, I was really hoping the wedding would get called off.
    (Solutions for bridesmaid dress shopping)
  • Mary: Pay attention to the show.  You could learn something, because it's about brats.
  • Mary: If any store would have evil, it would be Gristedes.
  • Andrew: Please don't trip over the bust of Lincoln on your way in.

December 2006

12/?/06: Puddhaven

  • Lindsay: Just walk into a Best Buy, grab the first thing you see on the shelf, and give it to me.
    (Instructions on how to gift shop for Lindsay)
12/8/06: Place

  • Kathleen: The first three are for the children!
    (on hitting the snooze)
12/13/06: Puddhaven, or maybe Courtney's blog

  • Courtney: It had gotten to that point in the morning when everything I saw I said "fuck you" to.

November 2006

11/13/06: LGBAC Symphonic Band Rehearsal

  • Jonathan S: I think you've all been playing this long enough that you know what these notes are.  You could look at me.  I'm not that ugly.
11/30/06: Place

  • Lindsay: I don't think of him as a piece of meat.  I think of him as a man I can have sex with.

Monday, February 15, 2010

October 2006

10/5/06: Angry about Cheerios

  • Andrew: Buzzy Wuzzy was a fuckin BEE!  On a cereal box!
10/11/06: Somewhere

  • Lindsay: [Playing the clarinet] is like riding a bike ... with your mouth.
    (Lindsay tries to convince someone to dust off their clarinet and play again.)
10/14/06: Sposa Bella, shopping for Sara's wedding dress

  • Sara: Me and my dress can be in two different counties!
  • Lindsay: Grace Kelly's Rum Surprise!
  • Dan: Music and getting fat.
    (Dan names the Smarty Party categories at which he excels.)
  • Sara: That's going to be my child's autobiography, "Chewing on Scissors."
  • Lindsay: I'll have a glass of water.
    Sara: And some lettuce.
    Lindsay: And hold the lettuce.
10/15/06: Andrew's parents' house, Commack

  • Alex: Never look through a kaleidoscope in a cold house.
10/17/06: Someplace

  • Andrew: That's how I make eggs.  I pour cereal into a bowl and say, "Fuck eggs."
10/24/06: Puddhaven

  • Courtney: It's purple today! I can sleep for twenty more minutes!
  • Courtney: I don't know why I'm worried about who I'm taking to my uncle's wedding.  I'll just take Will ... who doesn't exist.
  • Courtney: Kitty, what do you want?
    Lindsay: Souls.

September 2006

9/12/06: Puddhaven

  • Courtney: Do you want some tea?
    Lindsay: No, I want you to go fuck yourself.
  • Lindsay: That was my ass.
    Courtney: Now what is it?
  • Lindsay: Lo and I shall be spread upon a cracker and the little children shall come to me and say, "Is that a Ritz?" and I shall say, "No, it is the Lord."
9/20/06: Possibly Puddhaven

  • Lindsay: It's not rape if he buys you lunch.
9/25/06:  Puddhaven

  • Courtney: I am vast because I eat yams and apple dumplings.
    Andrew: Yams that contain multitudes.  "Yams: may contain multitudes."

August 2006

8/2/06: Puddhaven

  • Lindsay: I hate newscasters. They keep interrupting my stories to tell me it's hot.
8/3/06: Dunno

  • Lindsay: When life hands you teens, don't touch them or you'll go to jail.
8/4/06: Puddhaven

  • Pixie (via Lindsay): It's like a fucking sauna in there! Just put some wood chips in it and be done!
8/5/06: Somewhere with redheads

  • Dan: You've entered four pounds of beet burgers.  There is no food in the oven.
    (his impersonation of my parents' malfunctioning convection oven)
  • Sara: I love toaster ovens but I just feel like toasters are up to something.
  • Sara: Don't give me your penguin smack!
8/7/06: A place where we can't make fun of people's moms

  • Lindsay: You look funny.
    Kim: So does yer m-
8/14/06: Puddhaven, featuring Courtney!

  • Lindsay: Apparently I don't stare at your chest enough.
    Courtney: That makes you an army of one.
8/18/06: Puddhaven

  • Courtney: How about instead of driving through her vibrato, I just pull over to the side and die?
    (on the Into the Woods drinking game we invented)
  • Lindsay: He bent me over, took a pole, lit it on fire, and shoved it up my ass.
8/20/06: Don't know, but probably Puddhaven

  • Lindsay: I want to go on a tour bus and point at everything saying "It's the Empire State Building!"
  • Kim: I am like a sieve, so I'm constantly forgetting my fabulousness.
8/26/06: Puddhaven

  • Courtney: She actually doesn't like it when you pay attention to her. That gets you bitten.
    (about her cat, Darcy)

July 2006

7/15/06: Holly's shore house, Beach Haven, NJ

  • Holly: If you put us all together, we'd be an entire sunburn.
  • Lindsay: He can take the bottom bunk, and you can take the bottom bunk.
7/23/06: Pommes Frites

  • Julia: I like all my meals to be served in cones, whenever possible.
7/30/06: In the car on the way to Boo Haven, CT

  • Lindsay: Mmmm ... I like the envelope glue.  I'm SO hungry.
7/31/06: Somewhere

  • Mary:  Incredibly Loud and Close to your Face.
    (An attempt at remembering the title of Jonathan Safran Foer's book, "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close")

June 2006

6/7/06: The Marriott Marquis, et al

  • Andrew: Scrabble is where baby pigs come from.
    (Flipping through the Scrabble dictionary is how we learned of the word "farrow," a litter of pigs.)

  • Kim: I hate sploogy face.
    Lindsay: You've been metaphysically splooged.
6/10/06: Someplace with a bathroom

  • Andrew: Is it your birthday?  Because we're gonna drink Bacardi like it is.

  • Andrew: What happened to you?
    Jeremy: The sink won.
6/17/06: Doug and Amy's apartment

  • Amy: Most people in the world are not as smart as us.  Isn't that annoying?
    Doug: It's annoying, but it's sad that they're our friends.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

May 2006

5/12/06: A couch

  • Juli: I'm not used to sitting on a couch.
    Jeremy: You need to get an apartment.
5/13/06: No idea

  • Kim: If it's in use, fuck me.
    (wish I knew what this was about)
  • Andrew: Listen, I'm gay and you asked for it.
    (probably justifying an inappropriate comment)
5/20/06: Not Afghanistan

  • Lindsay: My Afghanistan lifts and separates.
  • Andrew: He is the master of the rabbit women.
    (sorry, no clue)
5/21/06: Somewhere

  • Andrew: It's too early for clitoris.
    (I happen to think that's always true.)
 5/22/06: The elevator at Acxiom Digital

  • Lindsay: Remind me never to have relations in your elevator.
    (on the surveillance cameras)
 5/25/06: LGBAC Marching Band rehearsal

  • Marita: You can't even pee without someone telling you how great our band is!
    (And she tried!)
5/28/06: A bench

  • Andrew: That wasn't a high five, it was a talk-to-the-hand!
  • Lindsay: Too much ass and not enough bench.
  • Andrew: That's like karaoke night at the Asian nursing home.
    (Don't know what this is about, but the original quote has the note "(wing)" next to it.

April 2006

4/7/06-4/9/06: Beta Epsilon, MariAnne Memorial Weekend

  • Pamela: Jews'll cut you, take your money, and invest it.
  • Pamela: If I were sober and nice to people, I'd be my little.
  • Lindsay: Oh, honey, no gavel no listen.
  • Lindsay: Watching a chick flick before going to bed is like eating an entire pizza by yourself.
  • Lindsay: It's like I'm being raped and I have e-coli and I like it.
  • Lindsay: Were you there when Andrew's disembodied hand flew out the window and smacked him in the face?
    (Too much to explain here, but it's sung to the tune of a certain Christian hymn)
4/11/06: A visit to Allison and Jeremy's and possibly Jonah's apartment in West New York, NJ

  • Kim: Mercury provides much more entertainment than Pixie does.
    Lindsay: Yeah, that's because all Pixie does is bleed all over the place.
4/16/06: Irrelevant.  This could happen anywhere.

  • Kim: I can't believe I choked on my own sound effect.
4/30/06: Long Island City, just outside the Church of Christ on 21st Street

  • Lindsay: There are donuts in the sky!
    Kim: Big, tall, terrible donuts in the Church of Christ!
    (It smelled like donuts, and we expressed that through Sondheim)

March 2006

3/11/06: A place where people were

  • Laura: There's enough to go around.  It's Christ!
  • Ben: How was the hotel they put you up in?
    Kathleen: I heard, "How was the Nutella Bitch-wuppin?"
3/25/06-3/26/06:  A visit from Louise

  • Lindsay: I want to let you know right now that I can't fucking stand you.
    (The beginning of a beautiful roommateship)
  • Mary: Is your mother still in Germany?
    Louise: She was in Denmark.
    Mary: Oh, one of those lederhosen countries.
  • Sara: I don't do windows and I don't shuffle.
  • Dan: Son of a fuck!
    Lindsay: Yes, that's usually how it happens.
  • Louise: I'm fucked.
    Sara: Speaking to you from fucked, I can tell you you're not there.
    (Sounds like a game of Phase Ten)
  • Sara: I'm skipping Louise.  This is a postcard from fucked.
    (Definitely Phase Ten.  We get our best quotes from that game.)
  • Lindsay: Celbrate good times ... aw, come on!
  • Sara: Do not fuck that duck!
  • Dan: We can go to Ashley's and you can get frozen yogurt, or we can go to Ashley's and you can fuck off, or we can go to Tastee D-Lite.
    (Louise brings out the best in us)
3/29/06: A trip to Coldstone Creamery in Times Square

  • Kim: Did you play during the show or during intermission?
    Lindsay: Oh, during intermission.  It's too dark during the show.
    (On playing Scrabble at a Broadway theater)
  • Lindsay: Three umlauts?  Even the Germans would find that excessive.
    (On Coldstone's menu item, "Germanchökolätekäke")

Saturday, February 13, 2010

February 2006

2/4/06-2/5/06: Beta Epsilon Founders Weekend

  • Lindsay: I think I was just served water by a pixie.
    (This is actually true.)
  • Krystal: Guess who's not getting her special chips!
  • Jess: Oh! You're sitting on Mike Noll!
    (Ever since 2002, Jess has been imagining Mike Noll at BE Founders Day)
  • Nicole: I am a financial adviser now.
    Lindsay: I'm ... going to kill myself.
  • Greg: I'm a Princess.
    Krystal: I have to walk away because I can't stop laughing at you.
  • Lindsay: I like to rape puppies on Founders Day.
    (upon hearing some brothers were trying to sabotage Founders Day)
  • Ashley: Whatever.  You say Raoul, I say potato.  It's fine.
  • Jess: The milk is worth points.
    (The milk had gotten around)
  • Lindsay: It makes me feel like I've been raped, and I liked it.
    (about "I Like the Way You Move")
  • Lindsay: I am demure and sedate.
    Emily: What?
    Greg: Please use smaller vocabulary so our secretary can record it.
    Lindsay: I sit and shut up.
  • Lindsay: This blows ... F.
    Andrew: This blows fuck?
    Lindsay: This blows ... grade F.

January 2006

1/7/06: A party in Boo Haven

  • Mary: Sadler Dellplain.  That sounds like the name of a fictional gumshoe.
    Andrew: Ha! All gumshoes are fictional.
  • Mary: Oh, I forgot to put my name then a colon and I used a quotation mark instead.  I'll just cross it out.  I'm a messy quoter.
    Andrew: I'm allergic to messy quotes.
    Mary: Oh, and I messed up the date.  I am SO fired!
  • Mary: An Ass in the Distance, the Sara R*** Story.
  • Mary: I think that oxygen is funny right now.
  • Disuhan: I didn't know there was liquor in the punch.
    Kathleen: That's what punch is for!  What are we, Hawaiian Punch girl scouts?
  • Disuhan: I'm very fickle with my sausage, though.  Sometimes I like it and sometimes I don't.
  • Kathleen: You're like a cock or something.  I swear you're a cock.
    (This was about the Chinese Zodiac)
  • Kathleen: We're creepy invisible people who don't know that copper doesn't smell.
  • Andrew: You're ridin' the chocolate wave, now.
    Dan: Once you've ... never mind.
  • Alex: Petticoat Junction, what's your function?
  • Sara: I feel like Sacajaweah dollars are a big game of keep-away.
    Dan: Sacajaweah dollars are the hot potato of the coin world.
1/28/06: Someplace

  • Disuhan: I can be really cute or cold.
    Brad: Tell me about it.
1/29/06: Somewhere

  • Holly: Luck of the Irish is canceled out by mean of the bitch.
    (Holly had a run in with a surly Irishwoman)

December 2005

12/2/05: Somewhere with shapes

  • Kathleen: It's a triangle and they're circles and it's on a square!
12/3/05: So long ago, can't remember

  • Matt: If I name children, will you know who I'm talking about?
    Kathleen: You mean old people?
  • Kathleen: Do they go together?
    Andrew: Like ramalamalamadong boobity boopty doop.
12/8/05: AIM, possibly

  • Kathleen: New rule for holiday shopping: you call me ma'am, I leave your store.
 12/17/05: Andrew's first apartment in LIC, NY

  • Dan: Elijah is blue for Jews.  I'll be black for the hell I'm going to.
    (During a game of Perudo)
12/28/05: Borders 0592, or somewhere else.

  • Maribeth: Andrew, stop playing with your banana.
  • Andrew: Dead isn't a color.

November 2005

11/6/05: We were playing Taboo somewhere

  • Kathleen: Giant monkey
    Jennelle: King Kong
    Kathleen: He had a friend.
    Jennelle: Hong Kong
11/26/05: This feels like it was at Kathleen's (parents') house

  • Sara: I kick ass, save lives, and bake cakes.
  • Brad: You use your teeth to eat this?
    Kathleen: Yeah.  What did you use, your eye?
  • Sara: You've been voted out of the generation.
  • Sara: It's the Great Pumpkin, you!
  • Kira: Shodan Ho means the next person to test for shodan.  Dojo Ho means someone who sleeps around at the dojo.
  • Kira: Have you ever heard of homosexual chicken?
    Brad: Is that when two gay guys run into each other?
  • Brad: There's really no comeback to "You're stupid."
    Kira: Yes there is.  It's called, "Your mom."

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

October 2005

10/7/05-10/9/05: Homecoming Weekend at Syracuse

  • Andrew: Maybe on the first plane ride she was seated next to a Jehovah's Witness.
    Dan: And on the second plane ride, she was seated next to John Goodman.
    (imagining the worst possible plane trip for Lindsay)
  • Dan: In Soviet Russia, apples pick you.
  • Dan: You're listening to Satan's Armpit on WFUV.
  • Andrew: European men must not have cocks.
    (on the crotch room in H&M pants)
  • Andrew: It's the redheads in their natural habitat.
  • Nate: I tried to decorate the basement nicely since I was down there long enough.
    Sara: Thanks.  I'm keeping your lava lamp.
    (During a game of Phase Ten)
  • Sasha: We're the grab-assing twig of the Holly branch of the Thing tree!
  • Lindsay: When I'm sleeping with you, I'm sleeping with every priest you've ever slept with.
  • Micah: Rosenberg to Rosehill?  That's an upgrade, I feel like.
  • Lindsay: I played three instruments.  One with my mouth, one with my nose, and one with my no.
  • Lindsay: I don't know if there's an orifice on my face that your finger hasn't been in.
  • Andrew: You're odd. You are not what god intended.
10/14/05: Andrew's first apartment in LIC, NY

  • Mary: Our asses are so mighty, no couch can contain them!
  • Sara: I don't figure things out that begin with "i".
    (disdain for Apple products)
  • Laura: So what's the fun part of this game?
    (and that's how Laura feels about games)
  • Mary: If I didn't already live with someone who made out with me, I'd have more reasons to leave the house and go to New Jersey.
  • Jeremy: I would always name all my daughters Peggy.
 10/19/05: Online

  • Jeremy: I'll bring the Monopoly if you promise to bring it.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

September 2005

9/15/05: Alyssa's dorm at NYU

  • Alyssa's roommate Lauren: Beyond no.  It couldn’t make less of a difference if it tried.
  • Lauren: My ass is too big for the paper towels.
    Alyssa: Your ass is too big for a lot of things.
    : My ass doesn’t love you anymore, and it doesn’t matter if the rest of me does because most of me is my ass!

9/23/05: Somewhere with soup? I guess?

  • Brad: I’m allergic to Lauren.
    : That’s because I roll in cat hair and bathe in fresh fruit.
  • Andrew: How were you able to stick it in your mouth?
    : It’s not so bad.  I’ve been mixing and blowing.
  • Disuhan: Oh, Andrew, it’s so smooth and—what are you writing?

9/24/05: Somewhere else

  • Sara: It’s like a non-stop, edge-of-your-seat adventure.  I should write a book: “My Life in Andrew’s Bed."

August 2005

8/4/05 - 8/5/05: Phi Sigma Pi Grand Chapter Conference in Monroeville, PA

  • Sara: Remember the time we were … driving?  I don’t either. (Stuck in traffic)
  • Sara: We should get cash prizes for this.

  • Andrew: Queerie?
    : Point of sexual orientation!
    (Fun with Robert's Rules)
  • Girl: Ya know what I’m saying?
    : I can’t answer you, so I’m just going to keep staring at you.
    : Okay, I wasn’t really asking you.
    (Confusion between delegate and chair)

  • Sara: It was a very caj wedding. We didn’t even have a rabbi.
    : Or a yarmulke.
    : Or a heterosexual groom.
    (We staged a false Jewish wedding as part of our duties in the Peanut Gallery)

8/27/05: Somewhere for Ben's Birthday

  • Kathleen: Five-year-olds have been born five times since you were born!

8/31/05: Somewhere

  • Jennelle: He just wanted to go to the conference so he can save his race by mating with some tree nymph.
    Nick: Fairy princess!
  • Andrew: I’m through with hugging big, drunk men.
    : I’m not.
  • Kathleen: What is this love thing?  I don’t know.

  • Kathleen: We’re like the worst hurricanes ever.
  • Andrew: I’m gonna go out for a smoke.

Friday, January 1, 2010

July 2005

7/3/05: An evening at Mary's

  • Lucas: Why would I cheat?
    : I’m drunk and stupid.  Why wouldn’t you?

  • Mary: Everybody but me doesn’t suck at this game!

  • Doug M: You’re gonna get sick.
    : Don’t say sick.

Somewhere else

  • Kathleen: If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll get psoriasis!

7/4/05: Rockland County with the Franzeses/Ethes

  • Doug E: Doesn’t Corona taste like pee?
    : I’ve never tasted pee

7/16/05: Various

  • Laura: You’ve tuned in to ‘Keep Him or Dump Him’, with Jeanne.
  • Alex: There’s one Ben, and half of another Ben in my world.
  • Andrew: Um, what did people do at bar mitzvahs before 1981? (about “Celebrate”)
  • Shihan M: If anyone has any objection to listening to the Yankees, please let me know.
  • Andrew: Dan is the reason we get pie.
    : That’s why I keep him around.
  • Andrew: I wouldn’t describe Sarah McLachlan as a “crooner.”
    and Sara: Or a tree fucker!

7/23/05: Don't remember where

  • Sara: If you like Kathleen, try her mom.
  • Dan: If they jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge…
    : Bridge no, ass grab yes.
  • Sara: It’s still a bachelorette party because you’re a bachelorette now!
    : But there’ll be guys there.
    : And we can hook up with them!
    : No, I meant us.

7/24/05: ESPN Zone, possibly?

  • Michelle: I was the Michael Jordan of Phi Sig.

Continuing the Quoting Tradition

When Yahoo announced that it was closing Geocities, I was only mildly concerned about the seven years-worth of quotes I had stored on a page there (not to mention survey questions and answers, ambigrams, etc).  I seem to remember Yahoo saying they'd be sending information about file transfer options, but when that information never came and then Geocities closed, swallowing my Quotebook page into the abyss, I was only a little disappointed.

Then, one day, Disuhan Googled her name and found quotes of hers posted on a site with the domain  They had resurrected my Quotebook!  I clicked through to a few of the pages and laughed myself silly, pleased that these quotes had stood the test of time and were still funny (to me anyway).  I was inspired to dig out the physical Quotebook (the actual book in which I record the quotes, because then, as now, I do not own a mobile device that easily allows me to quote on the go), which is the third of its kind, and discovered that there are about two more years of quotes that never made it to the Internet.  I felt sad for them, and was motivated to give them their due.  Also, it made me want to quote again.

So I decided to start this new blog for the Quotebook.  Reocities resurrection of old Geocities pages is read-only, so I can't just go in and update it.  I could download the HTML and find a new site to host it, but HTML and web browsers have changed so many times since it fell to the wayside (and it wasn't pretty to begin with) that the design, for one thing, is not really worth holding on to.  So the old quotes will stay there, for the time being, and the new quotes will go here.  It's not an ideal platform, but it doesn't have to be permanent (as I'm sure my new-found interest in quoting won't be).

So stay tuned for the next couple of days as I begin to post our long-lost quotes of the past four and a half years, and new ones, too!  Note: last names will not be used to protect privacy.