- Alyssa's roommate Lauren: Beyond no. It couldn’t make less of a difference if it tried.
- Lauren: My ass is too big for the paper towels.
Alyssa: Your ass is too big for a lot of things.
Lauren: My ass doesn’t love you anymore, and it doesn’t matter if the rest of me does because most of me is my ass!
9/23/05: Somewhere with soup? I guess?
- Brad: I’m allergic to Lauren.
Disuhan: That’s because I roll in cat hair and bathe in fresh fruit.
- Andrew: How were you able to stick it in your mouth?
Disuhan: It’s not so bad. I’ve been mixing and blowing.
- Disuhan: Oh, Andrew, it’s so smooth and—what are you writing?
9/24/05: Somewhere else
- Sara: It’s like a non-stop, edge-of-your-seat adventure. I should write a book: “My Life in Andrew’s Bed."