- Pamela: Jews'll cut you, take your money, and invest it.
- Pamela: If I were sober and nice to people, I'd be my little.
- Lindsay: Oh, honey, no gavel no listen.
- Lindsay: Watching a chick flick before going to bed is like eating an entire pizza by yourself.
- Lindsay: It's like I'm being raped and I have e-coli and I like it.
- Lindsay: Were you there when Andrew's disembodied hand flew out the window and smacked him in the face?
(Too much to explain here, but it's sung to the tune of a certain Christian hymn)
- Kim: Mercury provides much more entertainment than Pixie does.
Lindsay: Yeah, that's because all Pixie does is bleed all over the place.
- Kim: I can't believe I choked on my own sound effect.
- Lindsay: There are donuts in the sky!
Kim: Big, tall, terrible donuts in the Church of Christ!
(It smelled like donuts, and we expressed that through Sondheim)