- Andrew: Buzzy Wuzzy was a fuckin BEE! On a cereal box!
- Lindsay: [Playing the clarinet] is like riding a bike ... with your mouth.
(Lindsay tries to convince someone to dust off their clarinet and play again.)
- Sara: Me and my dress can be in two different counties!
- Lindsay: Grace Kelly's Rum Surprise!
- Dan: Music and getting fat.
(Dan names the Smarty Party categories at which he excels.)
- Sara: That's going to be my child's autobiography, "Chewing on Scissors."
- Lindsay: I'll have a glass of water.
Sara: And some lettuce.
Lindsay: And hold the lettuce.
- Alex: Never look through a kaleidoscope in a cold house.
- Andrew: That's how I make eggs. I pour cereal into a bowl and say, "Fuck eggs."
- Courtney: It's purple today! I can sleep for twenty more minutes!
- Courtney: I don't know why I'm worried about who I'm taking to my uncle's wedding. I'll just take Will ... who doesn't exist.
- Courtney: Kitty, what do you want?