4/8/10 - LGBAC Marching Band Rehearsal

Marita: Would it help if you moved over there?
Leslie: Only if my eyesight is better over there.

Later, at the Good Stuff Diner...

Marita: The butter whores took all the butter from our basket.
Eric P: I'm a butter whore.  Eat all the butter in my basket.

3/18/10 - LGBAC Marching Band Percussion Sectional

Leslie: I think your singing has improved.
Marita: I think your level of desperation has increased.

3/8/10 - LGBAC Symphonic Band rehearsal

Brian: Brian, shit-for-brains, whatever you want to call me.  I don't care.
Leslie: I'd like to call you Gladys.

Nolan: How can you fail if you never try?

3/2/10 - Marching Band Percussion Sectional

Leslie: I'll have the roll flam and you'll have the gock ... and I'll be in Scotland before ye!

2/22/10 - The LGBAC Marching Band Recording Session

Marita: There's a lot of tension in this song ("Gimme Some Lovin'").
Ryan:  That's not tension, it'a anxiety.  We need some lovin'.

Marita: Let's see what we can do with Madonna ("Holiday").
Sam G: Not much, these days.

Marita:  Piccolos, please play a little softer.
Leslie: Softer?  Piccolos are either on or off.

Gerry: It was great to play without swatting flies or staring into the sun.

Gerry: Excellent, I am dating a 23-year-old hottie named Jesus.
(After being asked to channel Madonna while playing "Holiday")

2/12/10 - Marita, Joe, and Jacki's birthdays

Leslie: I'm just gonna lesbian it off.
(on using brute force to open a tub of veggie dip)

Lindsay: What exactly is happening here?
Andrew: Canada
(watching the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics)

New possible title for Lindsay's memoirs: "An Overwhelming Sense of Me"

2/1/10 - LGBAC Symphonic Band rehearsal

Brian: I might stop looking pretty in this piece.
Leslie: That's all right. We just won't look at you.

7/4/07 - Asbury Park Independence Day Parade

Dawn: Do I look straight?
(Regarding whether her hat was level)

Leslie: When you're playing "Vehicle," try to channel a 30-year-old black man.
Kristin: How about a 50-year-old white chick?

Tolly (to the crowd): We're just like you, only with sequins!

Dawn: I wanna go on the Tilt-a-Puke!

Marita: They have never seen such a fabulous clarinet section!
Louisa: Are you sure they're not mistaking quantity for quality?