Oops. Forgot this existed again.

Some recent quotes:

2/14/11 - At Band Rehearsal
Lindsay: Get your Council Oak away from my Angel's Gate.

2/16/11 - Email Exchange
Sara: I thought you might get a kick out of seeing your old HS classmate.
Andrew: Thanks for sharing!  He was middle school, actually.  Went to some Christian school for HS, I think.
Sara: Oh that's right.  They moved to California right about when you would have gotten to high school.
Andrew: By "some Christian school," I meant California. :)
Sara: I think that's the opposite of California.

7/5/10 - Games at Puddhaven or Kittyboo (don't remember)

Sara: Vincent, are there any of your things you don't want brought to the new house?
Vincent: Bubsy.

Sara: Christmas is for stupid things.
(differentiating from birthdays which are for thoughtful gifts)

Andrew: We've been gnomeless for some time.
Sara: Did you go to a gnomeless shelter?

Sara: Lindsay's gayer than you are, based on her participation in the band.

Andrew: Pigs are pigs, Dan.

Andrew: Are you going to baptize the thing?

(Sara/Dan/Lindsay, if you remember the context for any of these quotes, please comment!)

4/30/10 - Chevy's with Acxiom and ex-Acxiom folks

Andrew: There's a situation in Queens.
Tara: Is there a Snooki?

4/29/20 - LGBAC Marching Band Post-Rehearsal Eating

Marita: I love you.
Ana: Why? What happened?

Lindsay: That night, grandmother and grandson became lovers.
Louisa: Can you please stop saying that?
(regarding this article)

Andrew:  Once you go percussion, you never go back.  It's like other things.

4/18/10 - Sunday Games at Puddhaven with the Redheads

Sara: I can't keep track of your fictional businesses, Lindsay.

Sara:  See what happens when you "Soo-ee?"
Andrew: You make an ass out of you!

Andrew: It's really easy to make bacon with four pigs. 
(Truism #304)


Dan: I just want pictures of four pigs doing the same thing.
(Dan explains his selective photography of our game of Pass the Pigs)


Andrew: Nope, there's spirit there.
(I assure everyone that my pigs are not, in fact, makin' bacon)

4/6/10 - Dinner at the Burger Joint

Andrew: Party in the somewhere else.
Lindsay: Party in the place I can't see you.
(How we feel about Miley)

3/5/10 - A lenten evening at the Olive Garden in Centereach, NY

Andrew: Can you fix my helicopter?

Kathleen: I'll just get the chicken and gnocchi soup ... and go to Hell.

2/28/10 - Sunday games at Puddhaven with the Redheads

Dan: This is when sea creatures do it, and then we eat it.
Sara: Caviar!
(Taboo, and correct)

Dan: I heard you discussing the state of my scroditude.
(Dan took a bathroom break during a game of Yahtzee)

Andrew: It's anybody's game ... except yours.
(See above)

Dan: What is Celine Dion doing in that pile of coins?  The backstroke.
(On why Celine Dion may have turned down performing at the Olympic ceremonies)

2/20/10 - Jess's mother is trying to kill her

Jess: I can just picture Lindsay out in a rainstorm holding an antenna.
Andrew: And a kite with a key.
Jess: Holding the word "show."
(This was about Lindsay trying to get the Sundance channel so she can watch the Johnny Weir reality show.  It also references the video I'm making with pictures of people holding words in a song.)

Jess: I'm glad I got to see you all before my demise.
Lindsay: I want to take a picture standing over Jess's corpse, holding a persimmon in one hand and the word "show" in the other.
(Jess is allergic to persimmons, and see the title of this post.)

New possible title for Lindsay's memoirs: "Mashed Potatoes and Outlet Shopping"

Jess: They had sausage sniffing dogs.
Andrew: Wait, sausage dogs who are sniffing, or dogs sniffing sausages?
Jess: Dogs sniffing sausages.  They save the dachshunds for heroin.

2/17/10 - QUO rehearsal

Jack: [Schubert] couldn't fugue to save his life!
Andrew: Fortunately, one's life rarely depends on fuguing.

2/13/10 - Sara and Dan got new games

Andrew: If you turn them gay, you might as well eat them.
Dan: That's right. You break it you bought it.
(on conservatives' attitudes towards gays babysitting their children)

Andrew: You are first among Dans.
Sara: There are no other Dans before thee.  Thou shall not worship false Dans.

2/12/10 - Marita, Joe, and Jacki's birthdays

Leslie: I'm just gonna lesbian it off.
(on using brute force to open a tub of veggie dip)

Lindsay: What exactly is happening here?
Andrew: Canada
(watching the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics)

New possible title for Lindsay's memoirs: "An Overwhelming Sense of Me"

1/4/10 - Puddhaven

Andrew: Your thigh is warm.
Kate: Your weird is weird.

12/31/09 - New Years Eve at Jeanne & Jim's

Alex: This is just like the Wii version!
Andrew: It's the real version of the fake version of the real version!
(Alex plays air hockey for the first time)

11/17/07 - Friendsgiving in Hamboo

Sara: It's an undergarment, and it's magnificent.
(Tabooing "Wonderbra")

Andrew: Speaking of tools, this is where they live.
Dan: The White House
(correct)

Lindsay: You're lucky I have a lot of leg fat.
Andrew: I am lucky.  I can't tell you how lucky I feel.

March 2007

3/28/07: Could be anywhere

• Andrew: Flatulence has its rewards.
  
• Lindsay: He plays a wonderfully mincing director.
  Andrew: Yay, mincing!
  Mike: That's my motto.
  (About Edward Hibbert in Curtains)

3/30/07: Somewhere in New York City

• Hannah: If you're going to mispronounce something, at least mispronounce it correctly.
  
• Andrew: How do you go four years without dropping your phone in the ocean?
  Mary: How do you go four days, honestly?

February 2007 (The last of the big quoting months)

2/3/07: Started with bridesmaid dress shopping, and then Crackfiends showed up

• Lindsay: Why did she hire two turds to walk down the aisle?
  Alex: What are those large piles of shit?
  (The bridesmaids on what the wedding guests would say about their dresses)
  
• Sara: She asked for a French manicure, and that's what she got.
  Andrew: She got a Bed-Stuy manicure
  (on what happens when Alex goes to the nail salon with Karina)
  
• Lindsay: Now I know what a sausage feels like.
  
• Sara: We should play Celebrities now.
  Alex: I want to lick you all over.
  
• Andrew: Is that to prevent fires?
  Laura: No, it's to prevent death.
  
• Brad: I once had the neatest vomit.
  
• Disuhan: I'm going to live with a Republican.
  
• Lindsay: This apartment smacks of gay rights and free health care for all.
  (Someone must have said the apartment smells like ... the Netherlands?)
  
• Disuhan: There was an old alien movie.  There was an alien in it.
  
• Lindsay: I shot my wad with "bear."
  
• Lindsay: Three little turds from school are we.
  
• Brad: Who says "butterscotch enema?"
  Sara: I'm pretty sure that's the first time that's ever been said.
  
• Brad: What movie is "Pralines 'n' Dick" from?
  Sara: Why do you keep putting these foods in those places?

2/4/07: Somewhere else

• Brad: Berry is popular among the ladies.
  Alex: I vomit when I drink that stuff.
  Brad: I meant ladies that don't say "vomit."

2/12/07: Puddhaven

• Andrew (to Lindsay): Are you going to hang that on your wall?
  Courtney: Not unless Kristin Chenoweth signs it.

2/13/07: Puddhaven

• Lindsay: Kitty, go fuck yourself.
  Darcy (via Lindsay): Okay, but I'm doing it in your room.

2/14/07: Puddhaven?

• Lindsay: Jew, when did Jesus die?

2/16/07: Puddhaven

• Lindsay: I'm spending the night at Josh's.
  Courtney: JoshUA.
  Lindsay: I can call him Josh.
  Courtney: You can, but he won't answer.
  Lindsay: That's because he's NOT REAL.

2/17/07: Puddhaven

• Lindsay: I can get pregnant from holding hands.
  Andrew: Yes. If Christianity has taught us anything, it's that no woman is safe from the Lord.

2/18/07-2/19/07: New Orleans, LA

• Lindsay: I would like to cover Bayonne in powdered sugar.
  
• Lindsay: Would you like to "Peace the fuck out" too?  Because that guy would.
  
• Lindsay: Ugh! I'm going to fucking NOLA, zombie!  What were you thinking?
  
• Andrew: I'll show you my DePippo if you show me your Latos Latos.
  (Having fun with the company name "Latos Latos and DePippo," advertised on Astoria Blvd)
  
• Doug: The parade hasn't started because Harry Connick, Jr. is having sex with his go go boys.
  Andrew: Well if the parade is delayed, of course it's because of gay sex.
  
• Doug: I don't want to touch titties.
  Scott: But they squeak!
  
• Unattributed: No, Lindsay doesn't to cows, she's straight.
  (This could have been any of us, including Lindsay)

January 2007

1/27/07: A NYMAAC event, I'm guessing

• Mary: Have you tried Ann Taylor?
  Juli: Actually, I was really hoping the wedding would get called off.
  (Solutions for bridesmaid dress shopping)
  
• Mary: Pay attention to the show.  You could learn something, because it's about brats.
  
• Mary: If any store would have evil, it would be Gristedes.
  
• Andrew: Please don't trip over the bust of Lincoln on your way in.

October 2006

10/5/06: Angry about Cheerios

• Andrew: Buzzy Wuzzy was a fuckin BEE!  On a cereal box!

10/11/06: Somewhere

• Lindsay: [Playing the clarinet] is like riding a bike ... with your mouth.
  (Lindsay tries to convince someone to dust off their clarinet and play again.)

10/14/06: Sposa Bella, shopping for Sara's wedding dress

• Sara: Me and my dress can be in two different counties!
  
• Lindsay: Grace Kelly's Rum Surprise!
  
• Dan: Music and getting fat.
  (Dan names the Smarty Party categories at which he excels.)
  
• Sara: That's going to be my child's autobiography, "Chewing on Scissors."
  
• Lindsay: I'll have a glass of water.
  Sara: And some lettuce.
  Lindsay: And hold the lettuce.

10/15/06: Andrew's parents' house, Commack

• Alex: Never look through a kaleidoscope in a cold house.

10/17/06: Someplace

• Andrew: That's how I make eggs.  I pour cereal into a bowl and say, "Fuck eggs."

10/24/06: Puddhaven

• Courtney: It's purple today! I can sleep for twenty more minutes!
  
• Courtney: I don't know why I'm worried about who I'm taking to my uncle's wedding.  I'll just take Will ... who doesn't exist.
  
• Courtney: Kitty, what do you want?
  Lindsay: Souls.

September 2006

9/12/06: Puddhaven

• Courtney: Do you want some tea?
  Lindsay: No, I want you to go fuck yourself.
  
• Lindsay: That was my ass.
  Courtney: Now what is it?
  
• Lindsay: Lo and I shall be spread upon a cracker and the little children shall come to me and say, "Is that a Ritz?" and I shall say, "No, it is the Lord."

9/20/06: Possibly Puddhaven

• Lindsay: It's not rape if he buys you lunch.

9/25/06:  Puddhaven

• Courtney: I am vast because I eat yams and apple dumplings.
  Andrew: Yams that contain multitudes.  "Yams: may contain multitudes."