2/3/07: Started with bridesmaid dress shopping, and then Crackfiends showed up
- Lindsay: Why did she hire two turds to walk down the aisle?
Alex: What are those large piles of shit?
(The bridesmaids on what the wedding guests would say about their dresses)
- Sara: She asked for a French manicure, and that's what she got.
Andrew: She got a Bed-Stuy manicure
(on what happens when Alex goes to the nail salon with Karina)
- Lindsay: Now I know what a sausage feels like.
- Sara: We should play Celebrities now.
Alex: I want to lick you all over.
- Andrew: Is that to prevent fires?
Laura: No, it's to prevent death.
- Brad: I once had the neatest vomit.
- Disuhan: I'm going to live with a Republican.
- Lindsay: This apartment smacks of gay rights and free health care for all.
(Someone must have said the apartment smells like ... the Netherlands?)
- Disuhan: There was an old alien movie. There was an alien in it.
- Lindsay: I shot my wad with "bear."
- Lindsay: Three little turds from school are we.
- Brad: Who says "butterscotch enema?"
Sara: I'm pretty sure that's the first time that's ever been said.
- Brad: What movie is "Pralines 'n' Dick" from?
Sara: Why do you keep putting these foods in those places?
2/4/07: Somewhere else
- Brad: Berry is popular among the ladies.
Alex: I vomit when I drink that stuff.
Brad: I meant ladies that don't say "vomit."
2/12/07: Puddhaven
- Andrew (to Lindsay): Are you going to hang that on your wall?
Courtney: Not unless Kristin Chenoweth signs it.
2/13/07: Puddhaven
- Lindsay: Kitty, go fuck yourself.
Darcy (via Lindsay): Okay, but I'm doing it in your room.
2/14/07: Puddhaven?
- Lindsay: Jew, when did Jesus die?
2/16/07: Puddhaven
- Lindsay: I'm spending the night at Josh's.
Courtney: JoshUA.
Lindsay: I can call him Josh.
Courtney: You can, but he won't answer.
Lindsay: That's because he's NOT REAL.
2/17/07: Puddhaven
- Lindsay: I can get pregnant from holding hands.
Andrew: Yes. If Christianity has taught us anything, it's that no woman is safe from the Lord.
2/18/07-2/19/07: New Orleans, LA
- Lindsay: I would like to cover Bayonne in powdered sugar.
- Lindsay: Would you like to "Peace the fuck out" too? Because that guy would.
- Lindsay: Ugh! I'm going to fucking NOLA, zombie! What were you thinking?
- Andrew: I'll show you my DePippo if you show me your Latos Latos.
(Having fun with the company name "Latos Latos and DePippo," advertised on Astoria Blvd)
- Doug: The parade hasn't started because Harry Connick, Jr. is having sex with his go go boys.
Andrew: Well if the parade is delayed, of course it's because of gay sex.
- Doug: I don't want to touch titties.
Scott: But they squeak!
- Unattributed: No, Lindsay doesn't to cows, she's straight.
(This could have been any of us, including Lindsay)
3/11/06: A place where people were
- Laura: There's enough to go around. It's Christ!
- Ben: How was the hotel they put you up in?
Kathleen: I heard, "How was the Nutella Bitch-wuppin?"
3/25/06-3/26/06: A visit from Louise
- Lindsay: I want to let you know right now that I can't fucking stand you.
(The beginning of a beautiful roommateship)
- Mary: Is your mother still in Germany?
Louise: She was in Denmark.
Mary: Oh, one of those lederhosen countries.
- Sara: I don't do windows and I don't shuffle.
- Dan: Son of a fuck!
Lindsay: Yes, that's usually how it happens.
- Louise: I'm fucked.
Sara: Speaking to you from fucked, I can tell you you're not there.
(Sounds like a game of Phase Ten)
- Sara: I'm skipping Louise. This is a postcard from fucked.
(Definitely Phase Ten. We get our best quotes from that game.)
- Lindsay: Celbrate good times ... aw, come on!
- Sara: Do not fuck that duck!
- Dan: We can go to Ashley's and you can get frozen yogurt, or we can go to Ashley's and you can fuck off, or we can go to Tastee D-Lite.
(Louise brings out the best in us)
3/29/06: A trip to Coldstone Creamery in Times Square
- Kim: Did you play during the show or during intermission?
Lindsay: Oh, during intermission. It's too dark during the show.
(On playing Scrabble at a Broadway theater)
- Lindsay: Three umlauts? Even the Germans would find that excessive.
(On Coldstone's menu item, "Germanchökolätekäke")
10/7/05-10/9/05: Homecoming Weekend at Syracuse
- Andrew: Maybe on the first plane ride she was seated next to a Jehovah's Witness.
Dan: And on the second plane ride, she was seated next to John Goodman.
(imagining the worst possible plane trip for Lindsay)
- Dan: In Soviet Russia, apples pick you.
- Dan: You're listening to Satan's Armpit on WFUV.
- Andrew: European men must not have cocks.
(on the crotch room in H&M pants)
- Andrew: It's the redheads in their natural habitat.
- Nate: I tried to decorate the basement nicely since I was down there long enough.
Sara: Thanks. I'm keeping your lava lamp.
(During a game of Phase Ten)
- Sasha: We're the grab-assing twig of the Holly branch of the Thing tree!
- Lindsay: When I'm sleeping with you, I'm sleeping with every priest you've ever slept with.
- Micah: Rosenberg to Rosehill? That's an upgrade, I feel like.
- Lindsay: I played three instruments. One with my mouth, one with my nose, and one with my no.
- Lindsay: I don't know if there's an orifice on my face that your finger hasn't been in.
- Andrew: You're odd. You are not what god intended.
10/14/05: Andrew's first apartment in LIC, NY
- Mary: Our asses are so mighty, no couch can contain them!
- Sara: I don't figure things out that begin with "i".
(disdain for Apple products)
- Laura: So what's the fun part of this game?
(and that's how Laura feels about games)
- Mary: If I didn't already live with someone who made out with me, I'd have more reasons to leave the house and go to New Jersey.
- Jeremy: I would always name all my daughters Peggy.
10/19/05: Online
- Jeremy: I'll bring the Monopoly if you promise to bring it.
7/3/05: An evening at Mary's
- Lucas: Why would I cheat?
Mary: I’m drunk and stupid. Why wouldn’t you?
- Mary: Everybody but me doesn’t suck at this game!
- Doug M: You’re gonna get sick.
Mary: Don’t say sick.
Somewhere else
- Kathleen: If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll get psoriasis!
7/4/05: Rockland County with the Franzeses/Ethes
- Doug E: Doesn’t Corona taste like pee?
All: I’ve never tasted pee
7/16/05: Various
- Laura: You’ve tuned in to ‘Keep Him or Dump Him’, with Jeanne.
- Alex: There’s one Ben, and half of another Ben in my world.
- Andrew: Um, what did people do at bar mitzvahs before 1981? (about “Celebrate”)
- Shihan M: If anyone has any objection to listening to the Yankees, please let me know.
- Andrew: Dan is the reason we get pie.
Sara: That’s why I keep him around.
- Andrew: I wouldn’t describe Sarah McLachlan as a “crooner.”
Alex and Sara: Or a tree fucker!
7/23/05: Don't remember where
- Sara: If you like Kathleen, try her mom.
- Dan: If they jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge…
Andrew: Bridge no, ass grab yes.
- Sara: It’s still a bachelorette party because you’re a bachelorette now!
Ben: But there’ll be guys there.
Disuhan: And we can hook up with them!
Ben: No, I meant us.
7/24/05: ESPN Zone, possibly?
- Michelle: I was the Michael Jordan of Phi Sig.
