8/2/06: Puddhaven
- Lindsay: I hate newscasters. They keep interrupting my stories to tell me it's hot.
8/3/06: Dunno
- Lindsay: When life hands you teens, don't touch them or you'll go to jail.
8/4/06: Puddhaven
- Pixie (via Lindsay): It's like a fucking sauna in there! Just put some wood chips in it and be done!
8/5/06: Somewhere with redheads
- Dan: You've entered four pounds of beet burgers. There is no food in the oven.
(his impersonation of my parents' malfunctioning convection oven)
- Sara: I love toaster ovens but I just feel like toasters are up to something.
- Sara: Don't give me your penguin smack!
8/7/06: A place where we can't make fun of people's moms
- Lindsay: You look funny.
Kim: So does yer m-
8/14/06: Puddhaven, featuring Courtney!
- Lindsay: Apparently I don't stare at your chest enough.
Courtney: That makes you an army of one.
8/18/06: Puddhaven
- Courtney: How about instead of driving through her vibrato, I just pull over to the side and die?
(on the Into the Woods drinking game we invented)
- Lindsay: He bent me over, took a pole, lit it on fire, and shoved it up my ass.
8/20/06: Don't know, but probably Puddhaven
- Lindsay: I want to go on a tour bus and point at everything saying "It's the Empire State Building!"
- Kim: I am like a sieve, so I'm constantly forgetting my fabulousness.
8/26/06: Puddhaven
- Courtney: She actually doesn't like it when you pay attention to her. That gets you bitten.
(about her cat, Darcy)
6/7/06: The Marriott Marquis, et al
- Andrew: Scrabble is where baby pigs come from.
(Flipping through the Scrabble dictionary is how we learned of the word "farrow," a litter of pigs.)
- Kim: I hate sploogy face.
Lindsay: You've been metaphysically splooged.
6/10/06: Someplace with a bathroom
- Andrew: Is it your birthday? Because we're gonna drink Bacardi like it is.
- Andrew: What happened to you?
Jeremy: The sink won.
6/17/06: Doug and Amy's apartment
- Amy: Most people in the world are not as smart as us. Isn't that annoying?
Doug: It's annoying, but it's sad that they're our friends.
5/12/06: A couch
- Juli: I'm not used to sitting on a couch.
Jeremy: You need to get an apartment.
5/13/06: No idea
- Kim: If it's in use, fuck me.
(wish I knew what this was about)
- Andrew: Listen, I'm gay and you asked for it.
(probably justifying an inappropriate comment)
5/20/06: Not Afghanistan
- Lindsay: My Afghanistan lifts and separates.
- Andrew: He is the master of the rabbit women.
(sorry, no clue)
5/21/06: Somewhere
- Andrew: It's too early for clitoris.
(I happen to think that's always true.)
5/22/06: The elevator at Acxiom Digital
- Lindsay: Remind me never to have relations in your elevator.
(on the surveillance cameras)
5/25/06: LGBAC Marching Band rehearsal
- Marita: You can't even pee without someone telling you how great our band is!
(And she tried!)
5/28/06: A bench
- Andrew: That wasn't a high five, it was a talk-to-the-hand!
- Lindsay: Too much ass and not enough bench.
- Andrew: That's like karaoke night at the Asian nursing home.
(Don't know what this is about, but the original quote has the note "(wing)" next to it.
4/7/06-4/9/06: Beta Epsilon, MariAnne Memorial Weekend
- Pamela: Jews'll cut you, take your money, and invest it.
- Pamela: If I were sober and nice to people, I'd be my little.
- Lindsay: Oh, honey, no gavel no listen.
- Lindsay: Watching a chick flick before going to bed is like eating an entire pizza by yourself.
- Lindsay: It's like I'm being raped and I have e-coli and I like it.
- Lindsay: Were you there when Andrew's disembodied hand flew out the window and smacked him in the face?
(Too much to explain here, but it's sung to the tune of a certain Christian hymn)
4/11/06: A visit to Allison and Jeremy's and possibly Jonah's apartment in West New York, NJ
- Kim: Mercury provides much more entertainment than Pixie does.
Lindsay: Yeah, that's because all Pixie does is bleed all over the place.
4/16/06: Irrelevant. This could happen anywhere.
- Kim: I can't believe I choked on my own sound effect.
4/30/06: Long Island City, just outside the Church of Christ on 21st Street
- Lindsay: There are donuts in the sky!
Kim: Big, tall, terrible donuts in the Church of Christ!
(It smelled like donuts, and we expressed that through Sondheim)
3/11/06: A place where people were
- Laura: There's enough to go around. It's Christ!
- Ben: How was the hotel they put you up in?
Kathleen: I heard, "How was the Nutella Bitch-wuppin?"
3/25/06-3/26/06: A visit from Louise
- Lindsay: I want to let you know right now that I can't fucking stand you.
(The beginning of a beautiful roommateship)
- Mary: Is your mother still in Germany?
Louise: She was in Denmark.
Mary: Oh, one of those lederhosen countries.
- Sara: I don't do windows and I don't shuffle.
- Dan: Son of a fuck!
Lindsay: Yes, that's usually how it happens.
- Louise: I'm fucked.
Sara: Speaking to you from fucked, I can tell you you're not there.
(Sounds like a game of Phase Ten)
- Sara: I'm skipping Louise. This is a postcard from fucked.
(Definitely Phase Ten. We get our best quotes from that game.)
- Lindsay: Celbrate good times ... aw, come on!
- Sara: Do not fuck that duck!
- Dan: We can go to Ashley's and you can get frozen yogurt, or we can go to Ashley's and you can fuck off, or we can go to Tastee D-Lite.
(Louise brings out the best in us)
3/29/06: A trip to Coldstone Creamery in Times Square
- Kim: Did you play during the show or during intermission?
Lindsay: Oh, during intermission. It's too dark during the show.
(On playing Scrabble at a Broadway theater)
- Lindsay: Three umlauts? Even the Germans would find that excessive.
(On Coldstone's menu item, "Germanchökolätekäke")
