6/3/10 - LGBAC Marching Band Rehearsal

Marita: You drew a crowd ... and almost caused an accident!
(on the motorists on 9A who stopped to listen to us)

4/29/20 - LGBAC Marching Band Post-Rehearsal Eating

Marita: I love you.
Ana: Why? What happened?

Lindsay: That night, grandmother and grandson became lovers.
Louisa: Can you please stop saying that?
(regarding this article)

Andrew:  Once you go percussion, you never go back.  It's like other things.

4/8/10 - LGBAC Marching Band Rehearsal

Marita: Would it help if you moved over there?
Leslie: Only if my eyesight is better over there.

Later, at the Good Stuff Diner...

Marita: The butter whores took all the butter from our basket.
Eric P: I'm a butter whore.  Eat all the butter in my basket.

3/18/10 - LGBAC Marching Band Percussion Sectional

Leslie: I think your singing has improved.
Marita: I think your level of desperation has increased.

2/22/10 - The LGBAC Marching Band Recording Session

Marita: There's a lot of tension in this song ("Gimme Some Lovin'").
Ryan:  That's not tension, it'a anxiety.  We need some lovin'.

Marita: Let's see what we can do with Madonna ("Holiday").
Sam G: Not much, these days.

Marita:  Piccolos, please play a little softer.
Leslie: Softer?  Piccolos are either on or off.

Gerry: It was great to play without swatting flies or staring into the sun.

Gerry: Excellent, I am dating a 23-year-old hottie named Jesus.
(After being asked to channel Madonna while playing "Holiday")

7/4/07 - Asbury Park Independence Day Parade

Dawn: Do I look straight?
(Regarding whether her hat was level)

Leslie: When you're playing "Vehicle," try to channel a 30-year-old black man.
Kristin: How about a 50-year-old white chick?

Tolly (to the crowd): We're just like you, only with sequins!

Dawn: I wanna go on the Tilt-a-Puke!

Marita: They have never seen such a fabulous clarinet section!
Louisa: Are you sure they're not mistaking quantity for quality?

May 2006

5/12/06: A couch

• Juli: I'm not used to sitting on a couch.
  Jeremy: You need to get an apartment.

5/13/06: No idea

• Kim: If it's in use, fuck me.
  (wish I knew what this was about)
  
• Andrew: Listen, I'm gay and you asked for it.
  (probably justifying an inappropriate comment)

5/20/06: Not Afghanistan

• Lindsay: My Afghanistan lifts and separates.
  
• Andrew: He is the master of the rabbit women.
  (sorry, no clue)

5/21/06: Somewhere

• Andrew: It's too early for clitoris.
  (I happen to think that's always true.)

 5/22/06: The elevator at Acxiom Digital

• Lindsay: Remind me never to have relations in your elevator.
  (on the surveillance cameras)

 5/25/06: LGBAC Marching Band rehearsal

• Marita: You can't even pee without someone telling you how great our band is!
  (And she tried!)

5/28/06: A bench

• Andrew: That wasn't a high five, it was a talk-to-the-hand!
  
• Lindsay: Too much ass and not enough bench.
  
• Andrew: That's like karaoke night at the Asian nursing home.
  (Don't know what this is about, but the original quote has the note "(wing)" next to it.