2/3/07: Started with bridesmaid dress shopping, and then Crackfiends showed up
- Lindsay: Why did she hire two turds to walk down the aisle?
Alex: What are those large piles of shit?
(The bridesmaids on what the wedding guests would say about their dresses)
- Sara: She asked for a French manicure, and that's what she got.
Andrew: She got a Bed-Stuy manicure
(on what happens when Alex goes to the nail salon with Karina)
- Lindsay: Now I know what a sausage feels like.
- Sara: We should play Celebrities now.
Alex: I want to lick you all over.
- Andrew: Is that to prevent fires?
Laura: No, it's to prevent death.
- Brad: I once had the neatest vomit.
- Disuhan: I'm going to live with a Republican.
- Lindsay: This apartment smacks of gay rights and free health care for all.
(Someone must have said the apartment smells like ... the Netherlands?)
- Disuhan: There was an old alien movie. There was an alien in it.
- Lindsay: I shot my wad with "bear."
- Lindsay: Three little turds from school are we.
- Brad: Who says "butterscotch enema?"
Sara: I'm pretty sure that's the first time that's ever been said.
- Brad: What movie is "Pralines 'n' Dick" from?
Sara: Why do you keep putting these foods in those places?
2/4/07: Somewhere else
- Brad: Berry is popular among the ladies.
Alex: I vomit when I drink that stuff.
Brad: I meant ladies that don't say "vomit."
2/12/07: Puddhaven
- Andrew (to Lindsay): Are you going to hang that on your wall?
Courtney: Not unless Kristin Chenoweth signs it.
2/13/07: Puddhaven
- Lindsay: Kitty, go fuck yourself.
Darcy (via Lindsay): Okay, but I'm doing it in your room.
2/14/07: Puddhaven?
- Lindsay: Jew, when did Jesus die?
2/16/07: Puddhaven
- Lindsay: I'm spending the night at Josh's.
Courtney: JoshUA.
Lindsay: I can call him Josh.
Courtney: You can, but he won't answer.
Lindsay: That's because he's NOT REAL.
2/17/07: Puddhaven
- Lindsay: I can get pregnant from holding hands.
Andrew: Yes. If Christianity has taught us anything, it's that no woman is safe from the Lord.
2/18/07-2/19/07: New Orleans, LA
- Lindsay: I would like to cover Bayonne in powdered sugar.
- Lindsay: Would you like to "Peace the fuck out" too? Because that guy would.
- Lindsay: Ugh! I'm going to fucking NOLA, zombie! What were you thinking?
- Andrew: I'll show you my DePippo if you show me your Latos Latos.
(Having fun with the company name "Latos Latos and DePippo," advertised on Astoria Blvd)
- Doug: The parade hasn't started because Harry Connick, Jr. is having sex with his go go boys.
Andrew: Well if the parade is delayed, of course it's because of gay sex.
- Doug: I don't want to touch titties.
Scott: But they squeak!
- Unattributed: No, Lindsay doesn't to cows, she's straight.
(This could have been any of us, including Lindsay)
6/7/06: The Marriott Marquis, et al
- Andrew: Scrabble is where baby pigs come from.
(Flipping through the Scrabble dictionary is how we learned of the word "farrow," a litter of pigs.)
- Kim: I hate sploogy face.
Lindsay: You've been metaphysically splooged.
6/10/06: Someplace with a bathroom
- Andrew: Is it your birthday? Because we're gonna drink Bacardi like it is.
- Andrew: What happened to you?
Jeremy: The sink won.
6/17/06: Doug and Amy's apartment
- Amy: Most people in the world are not as smart as us. Isn't that annoying?
Doug: It's annoying, but it's sad that they're our friends.
7/3/05: An evening at Mary's
- Lucas: Why would I cheat?
Mary: I’m drunk and stupid. Why wouldn’t you?
- Mary: Everybody but me doesn’t suck at this game!
- Doug M: You’re gonna get sick.
Mary: Don’t say sick.
Somewhere else
- Kathleen: If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll get psoriasis!
7/4/05: Rockland County with the Franzeses/Ethes
- Doug E: Doesn’t Corona taste like pee?
All: I’ve never tasted pee
7/16/05: Various
- Laura: You’ve tuned in to ‘Keep Him or Dump Him’, with Jeanne.
- Alex: There’s one Ben, and half of another Ben in my world.
- Andrew: Um, what did people do at bar mitzvahs before 1981? (about “Celebrate”)
- Shihan M: If anyone has any objection to listening to the Yankees, please let me know.
- Andrew: Dan is the reason we get pie.
Sara: That’s why I keep him around.
- Andrew: I wouldn’t describe Sarah McLachlan as a “crooner.”
Alex and Sara: Or a tree fucker!
7/23/05: Don't remember where
- Sara: If you like Kathleen, try her mom.
- Dan: If they jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge…
Andrew: Bridge no, ass grab yes.
- Sara: It’s still a bachelorette party because you’re a bachelorette now!
Ben: But there’ll be guys there.
Disuhan: And we can hook up with them!
Ben: No, I meant us.
7/24/05: ESPN Zone, possibly?
- Michelle: I was the Michael Jordan of Phi Sig.
