2/3/07: Started with bridesmaid dress shopping, and then Crackfiends showed up
- Lindsay: Why did she hire two turds to walk down the aisle?
Alex: What are those large piles of shit?
(The bridesmaids on what the wedding guests would say about their dresses)
- Sara: She asked for a French manicure, and that's what she got.
Andrew: She got a Bed-Stuy manicure
(on what happens when Alex goes to the nail salon with Karina)
- Lindsay: Now I know what a sausage feels like.
- Sara: We should play Celebrities now.
Alex: I want to lick you all over.
- Andrew: Is that to prevent fires?
Laura: No, it's to prevent death.
- Brad: I once had the neatest vomit.
- Disuhan: I'm going to live with a Republican.
- Lindsay: This apartment smacks of gay rights and free health care for all.
(Someone must have said the apartment smells like ... the Netherlands?)
- Disuhan: There was an old alien movie. There was an alien in it.
- Lindsay: I shot my wad with "bear."
- Lindsay: Three little turds from school are we.
- Brad: Who says "butterscotch enema?"
Sara: I'm pretty sure that's the first time that's ever been said.
- Brad: What movie is "Pralines 'n' Dick" from?
Sara: Why do you keep putting these foods in those places?
2/4/07: Somewhere else
- Brad: Berry is popular among the ladies.
Alex: I vomit when I drink that stuff.
Brad: I meant ladies that don't say "vomit."
2/12/07: Puddhaven
- Andrew (to Lindsay): Are you going to hang that on your wall?
Courtney: Not unless Kristin Chenoweth signs it.
2/13/07: Puddhaven
- Lindsay: Kitty, go fuck yourself.
Darcy (via Lindsay): Okay, but I'm doing it in your room.
2/14/07: Puddhaven?
- Lindsay: Jew, when did Jesus die?
2/16/07: Puddhaven
- Lindsay: I'm spending the night at Josh's.
Courtney: JoshUA.
Lindsay: I can call him Josh.
Courtney: You can, but he won't answer.
Lindsay: That's because he's NOT REAL.
2/17/07: Puddhaven
- Lindsay: I can get pregnant from holding hands.
Andrew: Yes. If Christianity has taught us anything, it's that no woman is safe from the Lord.
2/18/07-2/19/07: New Orleans, LA
- Lindsay: I would like to cover Bayonne in powdered sugar.
- Lindsay: Would you like to "Peace the fuck out" too? Because that guy would.
- Lindsay: Ugh! I'm going to fucking NOLA, zombie! What were you thinking?
- Andrew: I'll show you my DePippo if you show me your Latos Latos.
(Having fun with the company name "Latos Latos and DePippo," advertised on Astoria Blvd)
- Doug: The parade hasn't started because Harry Connick, Jr. is having sex with his go go boys.
Andrew: Well if the parade is delayed, of course it's because of gay sex.
- Doug: I don't want to touch titties.
Scott: But they squeak!
- Unattributed: No, Lindsay doesn't to cows, she's straight.
(This could have been any of us, including Lindsay)
1/7/06: A party in Boo Haven
- Mary: Sadler Dellplain. That sounds like the name of a fictional gumshoe.
Andrew: Ha! All gumshoes are fictional.
- Mary: Oh, I forgot to put my name then a colon and I used a quotation mark instead. I'll just cross it out. I'm a messy quoter.
Andrew: I'm allergic to messy quotes.
Mary: Oh, and I messed up the date. I am SO fired!
- Mary: An Ass in the Distance, the Sara R*** Story.
- Mary: I think that oxygen is funny right now.
- Disuhan: I didn't know there was liquor in the punch.
Kathleen: That's what punch is for! What are we, Hawaiian Punch girl scouts?
- Disuhan: I'm very fickle with my sausage, though. Sometimes I like it and sometimes I don't.
- Kathleen: You're like a cock or something. I swear you're a cock.
(This was about the Chinese Zodiac)
- Kathleen: We're creepy invisible people who don't know that copper doesn't smell.
- Andrew: You're ridin' the chocolate wave, now.
Dan: Once you've ... never mind.
- Alex: Petticoat Junction, what's your function?
- Sara: I feel like Sacajaweah dollars are a big game of keep-away.
Dan: Sacajaweah dollars are the hot potato of the coin world.
1/28/06: Someplace
- Disuhan: I can be really cute or cold.
Brad: Tell me about it.
1/29/06: Somewhere
- Holly: Luck of the Irish is canceled out by mean of the bitch.
(Holly had a run in with a surly Irishwoman)
11/6/05: We were playing Taboo somewhere
- Kathleen: Giant monkey
Jennelle: King Kong
Kathleen: He had a friend.
Jennelle: Hong Kong
11/26/05: This feels like it was at Kathleen's (parents') house
- Sara: I kick ass, save lives, and bake cakes.
- Brad: You use your teeth to eat this?
Kathleen: Yeah. What did you use, your eye?
- Sara: You've been voted out of the generation.
- Sara: It's the Great Pumpkin, you!
- Kira: Shodan Ho means the next person to test for shodan. Dojo Ho means someone who sleeps around at the dojo.
- Kira: Have you ever heard of homosexual chicken?
Brad: Is that when two gay guys run into each other?
- Brad: There's really no comeback to "You're stupid."
Kira: Yes there is. It's called, "Your mom."
9/15/05: Alyssa's dorm at NYU
- Alyssa's roommate Lauren: Beyond no. It couldn’t make less of a difference if it tried.
- Lauren: My ass is too big for the paper towels.
Alyssa: Your ass is too big for a lot of things.
Lauren: My ass doesn’t love you anymore, and it doesn’t matter if the rest of me does because most of me is my ass!
9/23/05: Somewhere with soup? I guess?
- Brad: I’m allergic to Lauren.
Disuhan: That’s because I roll in cat hair and bathe in fresh fruit.
- Andrew: How were you able to stick it in your mouth?
Disuhan: It’s not so bad. I’ve been mixing and blowing.
- Disuhan: Oh, Andrew, it’s so smooth and—what are you writing?
9/24/05: Somewhere else
- Sara: It’s like a non-stop, edge-of-your-seat adventure. I should write a book: “My Life in Andrew’s Bed."
